Community: By Coach Stephanie

My husband is a volunteer fire fighter.  He loves the community, the commitment, the family that it creates.  And, I love that he loves it enough to commit to the selflessness and bravery that fire fighters must endure with their fellow firehall family.

Do you need the community to keep you going?  Do you prefer the group training (contingencies)?

Some people NEED that.  Some people need that to show up, to keep going, to get a start.  Is that you?  If so, own it!  You have come to the right place and you are not alone!  It’s normal (maybe even necessary) to feel some level of increased accountability in order to show up for commitments.  Sometimes, it takes a village, a community, a group of like-minded individuals to get you to show up.

Commitment comes in all forms.  If you need a group/community/class to get you to show up, then own it.  Do it.  Sign up for that class.  Get back in to the class you have been missing.  Grab some friends and begin to attend something together.  Get involved in your community and take action!

Positive Action Coach is proud to add some incredible additions to our community!  Keep checking back to gain access to insights and advice from a great (and growing) network of action coaches!

Community can be a beautiful thing.  It can help us to be brave and accomplish great things.  Together.  Take action!

"CoachBit" # 1 : By Coach Dave

As I visited the students of Wexford Elementary School today I was overcome with emotion and joy. The kids gave me such an enthusiastic reception, you would have thought their hometown hero Neil Walker was walking the halls! At that moment it struck me. It occurred to me how deep my relationship with these wonderful kids truly is. How important they are to me, and how valued I am to them. While talking with them, a theme/question began repeating itself. It went like this..."Coach Dave do you remember me?" "Coach Dave do you remember my nickname?" "Coach Dave remember I'm the one you called..."  I reflected on it later and realized what children yearn for and need to know that they matter. That they are cherished. That they are important. That they weren't just a guest at a birthday party or a player on a sports team. They are their own wonderful person, who has a name, a unique personality, a special way of making you laugh. They want to hear you say their name (or nickname). And to know that they made an impact on you and that you do remember them. My advice to any adult who coaches, teaches, trains kids - do not take for granted the influence you have on children. They look up to and admire who you are. Return the admiration and appreciation. Learn (and remember) their names, their personalities, the things that make them their own unique person. I promise you, if you do, it will make you feel like I felt today!

WHEN TO MAKE YOUR CHILD PLAY (Quitting is NOT an option): By Coach Dave

When boys and girls are little, sports should be all about fun. There’s enough things in everyday life that kids are told they have to do, but sports should not be one of them. Most of the time, children start playing sports to have fun. They don’t care so much about exercise or fitness. They just want fun and enjoyment. Sometimes the cool uniform, and time spent with friends are factors too. But mostly, it’s all about fun. If your child does not think playing sports is fun, then don’t force him or her to sign up for the team or league. If you are concerned about exercise and fitness, there’s other ways for that to happen. If you want your child to have a chance to learn teamwork, there are other ways to learn that, too. If you are looking for something to keep your child busy, the list of activities available for kids is endless. Try this - sit down with your child and make a top-five list of things they’d like to do or enjoy doing. If sports isn’t in there, don’t force it on them.

Even though your child says, “Mom, Dad I want to play!” there may still come a time during the season or program when the game becomes slow and boring and it’s not fun anymore. This is when you may have to do some forcing. One thing kids should learn is that they can’t always quit something just because they don’t feel like doing it. Your child needs to learn that there are other things to consider: their team, the money spent on uniforms, equipment and registration. Not to mention their reputation as being a dependable, unselfish player or if case be, the opposite. That reputation good or bad will most certainly stick with them throughout their budding athletic careers. Unless your child is injured or suffering from some other emotional or physical issues connected to the coach or team, it’s important that they learn to finish what they started. If your player is miserable, remind them that they chose to play because they thought it was fun and that once the season is over, they don’t have to play again.

But until then - Finish What You Started!

Setting a goal: By Coach Stephanie

Make a goal! Sure, I have lots of them. Oh, if only it were that simple, I would have conquered every single goal and outcome I ever wanted in life. How many goals have I failed in achieving because I just lacked the awareness about how my goal creation was flawed.

Now, my behavior analyst brain kicks in and starts considering specifically defining the goal. How many were just failures because I neglected to actually define the goal in a manner that can be achieved? How many steps have to be made to even get close to the goal?

Well, this all depends.

When I set goals, I make sure they are OBSERVABLE and MEASURABLE. If I am reaching toward an unmeasurable or imaginary goal, how can I ever achieve it? Furthermore, is there ever an end? I also break down the goal into smaller tasks. This way, I not only have access to little triumphs along the way (see Behavior Momentum) but I can also detect any of the flaws in the planning and larger learning tasks. Setting observable and measurable goals will not only support your successes, but is part of a PLAN to continue your path toward success!

Start somewhere. Today : By Coach Stephanie

We have to start somewhere…  Today.  Start today.  OK, that sounds very easy and very simplistic.  It is.  And yet there is some sort of behavior that has to occur in order for you to engage in steps toward that goal.  Brainstorming, understanding your core values, creating reasonable goals, overcoming obstacles (or even determining those obstacles), and taking action all take some sort of behavior chain. 

Behavior is what we do.  I am a Board Certified Behavior Analyst and happen to enjoy analyzing behavior!  Have you ever considered YOUR behavior as part of your plan toward personal health and well being? 

There a popular definition of insanity describing it as doing the same behavior and expecting different results.  Seriously, have you considered how your same behavior patterns are impacting your same results?  They are not only impacting the results, but you have control over your behavior and the results.  It is up to YOU.
Think about that.  We have to change our behavior to get different results.
Now that I have you thinking, it’s time to consider what behaviors you are ready and willing to change.  If you cannot target those behaviors, then let’s get to thinking about your goals… which leads to another blog topic!